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How much of our lives do we consciously or unconsciously play out over and over again? I believe more than we think we know. I mean, how easy is it to see, hear and especially smell our way into a memory or an old feeling? Why is it so difficult (for me a least) to stay fully present? And not only that but to be relaxed? More and more I am aware of how I pretty much always have my shoulders hiked up. I have this passive uncomfortableness that I’ve had for so long. I didn’t ever feel it until about a year ago. It just felt “normal”.

What give us “awareness”? What does it mean to be “unaware”? When did any type of awareness start? I suppose when we were born but how can we be so sure? (If you know let me know how please!) How can we remember? Can we be fully healed from our suffering without remembering- remembering to go back to heal so we CAN BE PRESENT? If we were satisfied with the present moment, why would we ever want to be anywhere else?

The most conscious awareness to me is in meditation. You create a space to just be and observe in silence and stillness. It’s the easier form of conscious awareness though- In my eyes anyways. It’s when we are living our lives is when that awareness would really go to good use. Especially dealing with people who we cannot see eye to eye with. Maybe, if we had such awareness we could see that it’s a mirror of our own pain. It seems to always come back to pain. When we have discomfort is when we want to run and how much discomfort do we REALLY have/feel? More than we are AWARE of? If we’re always in pain are we always running away from the pain? THE MOMENT?

If we are really all connected we feel everyone’s pain. You can flip that though. We can certainly feel the love as well. We may be afraid of that though.

So there’s running away from pain (fear). There is also running away from love and running BACK to pain. Funny how that works. Insanity much? To break free do we fully need to feel the pain? To feel pain is to be uncomfortable and certainly you will make others feel uncomfortable too. What happens when you have conscious uncomfortableness? I suppose to feel it objectively. At this point you must know that there is a reason for it. Awareness brings change but for how long do we need to feel the pain? When does it all end and when does the life we really desire begin?

Keep feeling it all my friends. For that is where your answers, growth and power lie.

The spotlight has steadily been growing my whole life
I couldn’t take it
Had to shake it
But always wanted to make it big
Now is my time to shine
For all to see
To see me and to see themselves
The highest self which is always love
Which is always above fear
Which has always been here
Don’t you know it’s just been hidden
People try to make it forbidden
How they forget its how we were made
When you tap into love only fear can be afraid

Remembering What Has Been Forgotten 

She knows there is someone better out there for her but she is stuck on past loves

"I love you" she says to herself and prays to The Creator above
She wishes her own love would cease these thoughts of longing
She has so much love she puts it into a song and
Sings about a beautiful man with dark hair and a light heart
He’s tall and isn’t afraid to show his scars
Who knows his worth as much as hers
He thinks carefully before speaking any words
Dives deep into nothingness and into the darkest night
He knows his weaknesses which leads him to better insights
He embraces his shadow self
and his inner child is his best friend
She smiles to herself and knows one day this won’t be pretend

She knows everything in her life has always been necessary 
and that this too is only momentary
So very grateful to be able to feel and write these things out
To be able to express such love and able to take a different route 

She tells herself all the things she wants a man to say to her
She writes herself love letters and buys herself flowers to show
That she deserves these things without a man having to bring them to her
In doing this she’s ready and able to live in each moment
As they were meant to be, conscious, easy and lovely……

He was finally on top of her and after he gave up his vitality she wanted to embrace. She wanted to feel his bare heart with hers. But his release was in the way. On her stomach, her solar plexus. She felt an exchange of energy although he did not unleash her dragon who still sleeps in her cave waiting to be awakened. She waits for the one who can ignite her flame, located in her root chakra, where the dragon’s cave resides.

She knows her highness will one day ignite her and together they will aid in the healing of humanity. Her dragon had started to journey upwards before with a man but got stuck in her sacral chakra. They both wasted his vitality. They both didn’t know any better… Well, until an angel was created.

The man fled after the seed had been planted. The Goddess had to follow her heart. She felt an angel in there. She saw and felt an enlightened being.

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